Tuesday, May 08, 2007

Grief

I'm getting tired of saying good-bye to my friends. This year, once again, I'm faced with the realization that some of my best friends will no longer live in the same town, or even the same state.
When I left college I didn't know quite what it would mean to say good-bye. I knew that in a few weeks I'd see everyone at my wedding, and a few weeks after that I'd see everyone again at another wedding... and I thought it would just go on like that forever. But now I know-- when your friends move away you're lucky if you see them three times a year. You get really excited if you get to spend a weekend together. But it's not the same as coffee, lunch, a movie or a good hug whenever you want one.
And now I must say good-bye to my support system once again. Both Theda and Jill will be gone by the end of the summer- ironically they are both moving to Denver. (I'm an introvert and can only really sustain about two meaningful relationships (aside from my spouse) at any given time.) So now I spend some of my time crying, some of my time fighting the urge to pretend they're gone already so it doesn't hurt so much when they leave, some of my time trying to fit in as much time with them as possible, and of course, some of my time scoping out potential "new" friends. Which of course leaves very little time for anything else.
This experience has taught me two things. 1) I had no idea what was going to happen to me when I left my warm Bluffton bubble. 2)I will not be able to spend the rest of my life in an institution where the students (and my friends) leave every year or two.