Paper Writing a' la Amy

Okay, so it's more like paper writing a' la the Amy method backwards. In other words, I typed out all the quotes, now I'm filling in around. It's harder than it sounds.
This is a writing break from the first paper of the semester, a Christian Ethics paper on the method of Christian Ethics. Basically I have to vomit up what the last four class sessions and about 200 pages of reading have been about. Then I can "critique" it, if I dare. Usually when I critique things I get comments back like "I'm not sure you understand (fill in the name of a theologian here)" or "This is not quite right." So I'm sure my critique will be brief and prefunctory, if I have one. This is just a brief window into my world. Now back to the paper.

Terrible Horrible No Good Very Bad Things

Sunday night I got a call from my friend Theda. She told me that Deb, my friend and former spiritual director has experienced a tragedy. Deb's son, age 20, was killed in a car accident Saturday night. Deb is in good company among my friends this year. After the most recent tragedy I began to recount the horrible things that had happened to people I know and love, and to others in the world in the last year. At some distance from me, there was a tsunami, an earthquake, and several hurricanes. Closer to home, Brandon's grandma died, one of my best friend's was diagnosed with cancer, another had emergency gall bladder surgery. Our neighbors lost both thier father and brother-in-law in car accidents within 2 weeks of each other. Theda's friend's husband died in a car accident. I was separated from Brandon for about a month. And the husband of one of Brandon's friends committed suicide.
It seems that there is some awful evil that was unleashed on the world in the last year. So why do I have hope? I know that I cannot believe with the likes of some idiots who claim Christianity, that these tragedies were the result of disobedience to God. God does not cause tragedy and make people hurt.
Dickenson said that "hope is a thing with feathers." And the Bible says that these three remain "faith, hope, and love." But the greatest is not hope, rather it is love. So maybe I will pray that hope would fly and feather it's way toward my friends who need it, and I will continue to do what I do, which is love. And in the midst I will "hope" that Love will comfort, and heal. And as Theda told me once, I will say in return "I have hope for you."

Dreams, Signs and Ironies

The first time I woke up this morning I was dreaming the final Harry Potter novel. Of course, I'm never right, unfortunately I don't have some sort of cosmic connection to J.K. Rowling, if I did, I quit seminary and start writing some spin off. In my dream I was some sort of friend to Hermione I think, and she was being her brilliant self and getting struck by lightening for it. I was trying to protect her. Go figure. I went back to sleep and probably dreamed again, but now I don't remember. Some combination of Harry Potter and Lord of the Rings I think. I think your dreams are one of those things the first sip of coffee dissolves.
I debated about staying in bed all day. It would have been a nice change of pace from the ridiculously busy schedule of last week, but then I realized that if I did that a) I couldn't have coffee and b) the movies I borrowed from the library would be overdue. So I'm still in pj's but I did get out of bed and make coffee. The movies will make thier way back later today I think, but due to my lack of car (stupid thing was telling me "Check Oil Level" and "Low Engine Coolant") I'll be either walking or biking them back over.
I've really been writing this blog all week in my head, it's just now that it's putting itself on the computer. I decided my life has some ironies in it. For example, my reward for finishing my feminist theology reading is to watch a chick flick. And my mother now has a blog and has posted more than me. (also her posts are more concise, interesting and logical)
In another tangent, last week I had to choose a topic for the dreaded Christian Ethics paper (you know the one that could be on abortion or some other such high school speech topic). There was one ambigious topic called "Remembering Jesus in Gilead" that someone said was about "women's issues" (a phrase I despise because it suggests that men's issues i.e. violence etc. are everyone's issues, but women's issues have to have thier own category) I was debating getting out of my comfort zone and doing economics or something but eventually decided on the "women's issues" topic. When I went to look at the chapters titled "Remembering Jesus in Gilead" I discovered immediately that it was on none other than "The Handmaid's Tale"! So I decided it was a sign from God that this was the topic I was to do. And in the process maybe I can make a few Atwood converts. Yay novels!
Last week was "Pastors Week" so I had to do the whole candidate thing, and make sure the people who might help hire me know who I am etc. It was okay. But exhausting. One of the best parts was a dinner my feminist theology class scheduled with Malinda Berry, a womanist/feminist Mennonite theologian who's studying under James Cone (the God is Black guy) at Union in New York. It reminded me of Bluffton. She thinks the same way Sue and Gerald do. So I didn't have to spend half my time thinking "Okay, I don't agree with you." And trying to figure out why not. She also did a workshop titled "Jesus at the movies" that made me nostalgic. Sigh.
One final note, to those interested, I now have a "real" cell phone and so I have unlimited nights and weekends. Email and I'll give you the number. (Okay, this is mostly for Kari, but who knows maybe I have a phantom reader who wants to get in touch with me)

Awesome Song

So far the best part of the semester has been the two chapel services and a song we sang in Christian Ethics. This week was "spiritual life week" for the undergrads (remember those) and they actually brought in someone good. His name is John Bell and he's from Scotland. He's a preacher and songwriter. (And I discovered he inspired two of my mom's poems) Thursday he did a whole service about Jesus and women. Can you name the 12 female disciples? There were 12, at least. He said that we know more about some of these women than we know about the 12 male disciples, and yet they're the ones that get put in the stained glass windows. Interesting thought isn't it.
Anyway, in Christian ethics we sang this song he wrote which I've been singing to myself all week. The words are awesome and need to be shared.

If the war goes on by John Bell (located in the new Mennonite hymnal suppliment called Sing the Journey)

If the war goes on and the children die of hunger,
and the old men weep, for the young men are no more,
and the women learn how to dance without a partner,
who will keep the score?

If the war goes on and the truth is taken hostage,
and new terrors lead to the need to euphemize;
when the calls for peace are declared unpatriotic,
who'll expose the lies?

If the war goes on and the daily bread is terror,
and the voiceless poor take the road as refugees;
when a nation's pride destines millions to be homeless,
who will heed the pleas?

If the war goes on and the rich increase thier fortunes,
and the arms sales soar as new weapons are displayed;
when a fertile field turns to no-man's-land tommorrow,
who'll approve such trade?

If the war goes on, will we close the doors to heaven?
If the war goes on, will we breach the gates of hell?
If the war goes on, will we ever be forgiven?
If the war goes on. . .

If I learn nothing else this semester this week has made it worth it. :)

Guilty Pleasures

I have completed the first half of my first week. So far I have experienced all but one of my classes. (Stupid Thursday night class!) So in deference to my status as a student once again, I decided I must make a list of guilty pleasures that I will likely indulge in more often then I should in the coming four months.
1. Obsessively checking my email, even when I haven't sent any, even when there's no possible way anyone could have responded yet.
2. Reading books for fun-- you know. . . novels, not theology.
3. Sheets French Fries- for those unfamiliar, Sheets is a gas station, and they have the best french fries I've ever eaten.
4. Chocolate should always be on this list.
5. Blogging when I should be reading Christian Ethics (yes, the evil class has returned and it even includes a session on abortion, God help us)
6. Daydreaming about what I will do when I'm not reading Christian Ethics.
7. Obsessively planning my schedule-- to the point that I have to plan a time to plan my schedule (I might have a problem)
8. Making yummy things to eat or looking for recipes for yummy things to eat.
9. The tv show Las Vegas.

Okay, for continuities sake there should probably be ten, but for the moment I've run out of things to write. Maybe more will come. Of course, I'm always open to suggestions. I almost put coffee on the list, but decided it was a necessity, not a pleasure. Sleep also falls into this category.
Well I suppose that's enough of this guilty pleasure.
On with the show.

Resumes and Last First Daze

Ah the last semester (possibly ever) began with a bang, or rather a resume. I discovered a job online for the Seminary Communication Coordinator. I nearly had a heart attack. When I began to think logically again I went in pursuit of answers. And found some. Like: They had just posted the job, they hadn't even put it in the paper yet, and that I should get my resume together. So I did. And now I playing the waiting game. Waiting, waiting, waiting. We shall see. I'm also trying to decide which of my parents philosophies to take. My dad says, "Keep your expectations low and you'll be pleasantly surprised" My mom says, "Reach for the stars and when they cut you're hand off you'll heal." Dad's is less gruesome, but also less optimistic, which goes against my nature. So I'm waivering between the two. Such is my lot in life. Also, every time I tell anyone I have a panic attack because I'm afriad I'm jinxing it.
On a slightly different, but equally panic inducing note, tommorrow is my last first day of the semester, for a long time, if not forever. Frightening. And unfortunately, I don't think I can cruise through this semester. I guess I'll see tomorrow after my last bout with syllabus shock.

Entering the cyberworld

Ah, I have entered the world of blogging. It's 1:30 on Saturday morning and we just got done watching one of the worst movies I've ever seen. Never, if given the chance, watch 40 Year old Virgin. I, of course was not in charge of the movie selection for the evening, (Duh) and we were originally going to rent Wedding Crashers, which may have turned out to be the second worse movie I've ever seen, who knows.
I officially have one more day to sleep in before the grind begins again. Unfortunately I need to clean tommorrow and work on a project that may eventually pay me money (if I ever finish it). So I don't know if I really should sleep in, but given that it's getting on toward 2 am, I likely will.
Oh, so this is the inane chatter someone writes in a blog. When I read other people's they seem so much more interesting. Well, I always was the guinea pig, too domesticated for my own good. But perhaps now that I have entered cyberspace I'll become a more facinating person, or at least others will have the chance to read about my boring life.